It’s funny the things that come up during the course of our days that bring us back to our childhood. Today, or rather this evening, it happened to me. My 8 year old threw the biggest tantrum I’ve ever seen before! After being mean to his baby brother, who is 2 by the way, his punishment was that he couldn’t play his computer game, Wizard 101. Don’t even ask me what the game is, as I have no idea. My mom showed it to him while I was down in Mexico. So punishment for being mean to little brother = no games tonight. Well, when that happened you would have thought that the world literally ended in our household tonight! There was crying, jumping up and down- I SWEAR like 4 ft off the ground- clenching of fists, yelling; it wasn’t fair!
Yet through it all I remained calm. You see last night I didn’t remain so calm, it was a bad day, I was trying to get a lot done and at the end of the night, I’d reached the end of my rope on patience and I yelled. A lot. When everyone was in bed, and I was down at the studio finishing the things I had needed to do, the guilt set it. Guilt from the looks on their faces while I yelled, and the thoughts that come with being a mother and thinking why I couldn’t just NOT yell. Anyway, I woke this morning with a renewed sense and energy that I was NOT going to raise my voice today…one day at a time. So when the tantrum started, I proudly remained calm, and pictured these faces in my head from our Thanksgiving trip to Denver:
LOOK at that! Not one furious kid in there at all. So I calmly told him if he didn’t settle down then the game was going away for 1 week. Two warnings later he’d lost privledges for a week but try as I may to explain in a loving voice WHY he was getting in trouble the volume increased in the tantrum. Two warnings later it was 2 weeks, then 3 weeks, and finally a month. When I hit the month time line (after 2 or 3 warnings in between, and I mean GOOD warning, trying to talk to him), he was livid and I’ve never seen someone run up our stairs so fast. Of course Nathan was here through it all and when he ran up the stairs we were left looking at each other and I had to cover my mouth from laughing out loud. Because at that moment I was transported back to my childhood when I would get so furiously livid at my father that I did the same thing…..BREAK!
A little known secret about me is that I have a bit of a temper- ok for those of you that know me in the least bit personally it’s a big temper sometimes. But for the many people that read this blog and HAVEN’T seen that side of me- I’m working on it. I’m CERTAINLY much better than I was when I was 8, 16 or even 21. I’ve grown, as we all do as we age.
Anyway, I was taken back and I could barely stifle my laugh but had to since my other two boys were witnessing this meltdown. Nathan went off to the store with one child and I was left with the demon tantrum throwing child, who upstairs was yelling how he hated his life over and over again, and the baby. After a few minutes I went up to talk to him, but he was only worked up even more. He was SHAKING telling me he would do ANYTHING to have one more chance anything! He clung to me begging me to please let him play Wizards 101, how he had been waiting forever to play it and he would do anything I asked of him. Instantly I saw myself in my own child and instantly I now knew how my parents felt when I, 22 years earlier would beg to have one more chance BEG and plead. Your heart breaks as a because you want your children to know that you love them, but they also need to learn lessons in life. I held him and hugged him and told him how much I loved him and we had a discussion about how great his life really was compared to other’s in the world, but of course that’s not what he heard, and it’s not what ANY child hears when they’re furious at their parents. He sat there until dinner, and even tonight as we were saying our family prayers and I asked him the name of that game for this post, I saw the furious look flare up in his eyes again while he growled at me and asked me why I had to remind him. YIKES, what are the teenage years going to be like???
I had to turn away and hide another smile as I saw that rebelliousness of mine reflected in his eyes. Video games and computer games are now banned in our house for at least a month until some sane thinking and reasoning can be brought back. The conversation of how he could have only missed playing the game for one night instead of a month was kindly explained. We all have choices to make, and each choice we make has a consequence to it, good or bad. I hope my little man will someday learn like I have learned tonight that lifes lessons are sometimes hard and you never know how far down the road it will be until you realize that your parents really were trying to guide and teach you through this life. Thank you mom and dad for helping me realize the many roles I play as a mother and parent!
In other news, I had a shoot while I was in Denver for my dear dear friend from high school, David Thurman! He’s a doctor now….a cosmetic dentist to be exact, and almost a year ago he opened his own practice in downtown Denver. We opened our businesses almost to the exact day in fact! I gave input on his logo, colors, decor for his swanky office and amazing condo, and he’s given me his opinions on my set up, and business dealings. Mainly he listened to me rant about missed deadlines and other frustrations
In High School, David used to crack me up in typing class in little Dillon, Montana. I would click away on the keyboard and he would stare incredulously at me and ask me if I could be a little quieter on the keyboard as it was ruining his concentration. He never could believe how fast I typed, and I would leave that class everyday, almost crying because I had been laughing so hard….but quietly so we wouldn’t get in trouble! I don’t think David ever knew it, but that was my favorite class of all time and I looked forward to it every day. Later we were in Spanish together, and of course every morning we had seminary together, however, I wasn’t a morning person then either evidently because I hardly ever went to early morning seminary, I’d skip out.
Now here we are 12-15 years later each running our own businesses and meeting up for the first time since graduation. I can’t speak for David, but for me it was like we’d never been a part. He still looked exactly the same, and he still cracked me up. I’m so grateful for good friends that no matter how long we’ve been a part we can pick up right where we left off. Thanks David, and here’s a little sneak peek of the session!
by Katie
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